'This book is a very personal story, a visual exploration into motherhood and postnatal depression. I have “started” this work two years ago, as a way to cope with the overwhelming feeling of being alien and out of place. It is a collection of photographs I took on my phone. It was the only thing that kept me sane, somehow connected me to outside world, made me forget about the paradoxical endless sense of loneliness that motherhood brought. It was as much as I could carry at that time, both mentally and physically, my phone camera. I left my job, I couldn’t socialise, and couldn’t really live a life. And I am not even saying normal life here, a life, any life.

These images were my attempt to digest the idea of being a mother while also being depressed, the idea of continuing something without the option of quitting, the idea of me as mother and the relationship to the outside world, which seemed completely alien to me.'

- Maria Babikova

Self Published
Limited Edition of 50
Softcover 
52 pages
150 x 210 mm
ISBN 9781399951586